April 11 is approaching fast.

It's staring me hard in the face and it's not blinking. There's no getting away from it now. My race number is 50697. Look for it and try not to laugh if I'm hobbling my way down the street. I ran with Siya this morning and he's confident that I'm going to be fine. He was telling me about all the food there will be on race day, and that's enough to motivate me. Because I'm at the stage now where I don't want to be "toughing" it out for nothing any more. I want it to be comfortable. I want there to be food, water, drinks, and enough toilets. I have "safe toilet syndrome" - you know us types. We won't potty in any toilet we don't know, so this is going to be interesting! Ja, I know I'm showing my age, 44, and I'm proud of it. It's taken a lot to get me to this age, so I've nothing to hide. I'll never tell you how much I weigh, so don't even think about it. And nogal, I'm in the veteran's category. How'd they figure that out? I've never run a 21 Kay before, so it must be the age. Jawellnofine. We did a great run this morning and Siya told me he can see that I've improved. I've only taken two weeks off (not in succession) - one because I had some personal issues to deal with and then last week when we had training with Dr. Liso from Johns Hopkins. Now the pressure is on. Now the word is out and everyone wants to know if I'm still going to run. Well I have to, don't I? I am the face of Autism Action. I must continue to raise awareness for Autism. I'm going to run with our new t-shirt on - so look for me. I'm training my mind that I'm going to run 30 kays because I read somewhere that if you tell your brain you're going to run "X" kays, then your brain starts shutting down around 1 hour before to conserve energy. So I can't do that. I have to start training to run 30kays, so at 21 kays I'll finish with some energy left. Ja right, tell that to my legs around the time I hit Southern Cross Drive. Have you seen that monster? It's about 2.2 kays uphill. So I'm back on track and looking forward to this challenge. The only easy day was yesterday.

Yipee!!! Got my orthotics and running again, albeit on the treadmill, feels just fantastic. I guess my body just got used to running with me being out of alignment and got used to the pain and discomfort. I didn't know how bad it was until it's not here any more. So one more week of running on the treadmill and then it's me and Siy hitting the streets again. Man, April 11 is just around the corner and staring me hard in the face, so no more excuses - just hard work and pain :-) I ran a 5K on the treadmill this morning and it felt good. Talk to me once Siy gets his hands on me again and it's going to be a whole different story. Paul and I have been driving up Southern Cross road and it's about 2 point something kays UP to Rhodes drive. So we drive this one every week so I can imprint it in my brain and just get over the fact that it's part of the course and I'm going to have to do it. We're going to attempt to do run Southern Cross drive as soon as the kids go back to school and I have some more free time. Until then, it's treadmill running and road running is going to be a shock to the system, I just know it!

The only easy day was yesterday

December 19th. It's amazing what a little R&R can do. I took a week off from anything gym-related and all things exercise and now I feel great. My calf muscle is just peachy and my right foot is peaches and cream. I've had to be fitted with orthotics as my right leg is shorter than my left leg by 1cm and that's what's causing all kinds of issues. I also saw a specialist who advised me that my right foot is operating on some weird motion - too long to describe here. So now I have to wait until after Christmas to begin running again - only on the treadmill, though, and no heroics, I've been told. Just run to get my body back to the rhythm of running and I must finish feeling like I could run for another hour. So no overdoing it! I can do that part. And I've also committed to continuing my strength training on the exercises Siy has shown me when we were doing two weeks of nonrunning-related training. Those were no picnic either. I've promised myself not to overindulge and pig out over the festive season. I've promised myself that I will do my workouts as planned. I've committed to watching my caloric intake. Yeah, right - that's all going out the window when Auntie Elsie's Christmas cake shows up on Thursday!

The only easy day was yesterday.

December 2, 2008 Well, I finally screwed up this time, big time. My calf muscle was still not properly healed, but I attempted to run on it anyway last week. So 1/4 of the way into the run, it starts burning like bejeebers and I just couldn't run on it. So I told Siyabonga this and we babied it and limped through the whole training. I felt like such an idiot. My doctor booked me off running for a week to get this puppy fixed. And then my deltoid in my right foot started acting up and long story short - I felt like walking on my hands because it was so uncomfortable. I met Siyabonga at the gym last Friday - Nov 28 and he put me thru a nonrunning workout that made my legs scream and made the 8.5 kays seem like cake. But it was great. So we've decided to focus for the next week on waking up those dormant muscles that need to get me up those hills and just strengthen my overall program. I love it. The new training schedule will consist of Mondays running, Tuesdays yoga, Wednesdays strength training, Thursdays yoga, Fridays running. That starts in January '09. For the rest of this year it's strength training and hopefully some recreational running if the calf muscle is okay. So I'm resting and rehabbing the calf muscle and it's feeling pretty okay. I don't want this to become a nightmare and lay in wait for the day of the race.

The only easy day was yesterday.

November 21, 2008.

The weather is just how I like it - hot and getting hotter. My calf muscle feels much better. No more limping around the house, but there's still an area of stiffness - no pain, though.

Paul, myself and Siyabonga start running and he runs us for 10 mins at a good clip and rests (walks) for about 1 or 2 mins, and then we tackle the first hill. "Not too bad", I think. I'm still huffing and puffing horribly. It's an improvement over the last few times and it's encouraging. I'm feeling a bit stronger. I'll take it.

We're running hills this morning as I really need to work on this. So we run some gradual hills and then about 35 mins into the run we get to Avenue Bordeaux. This is a monster hill - okay - maybe not monster monster, but I consider my driveway steep so Ave Bordeaux looks tough.

We set out and Siy is just cruising along with me - I'm fast walking this sucker - not even attempting to run it, but I don't quit. Paul's already waiting at the top of the hill for us. Siy is such a great coach and so encouraging. I just adore his quiet strength.

On the downhill my calf starts its swearing at me. Siyabonga tells me I need to strenghthen my calves. Even though I'm very flexible because of my yoga training, my strength is not there for the run. That's probably why I'm still huffing and puffing and still feeling like a sack of potatoes for most of the run. I want to get into that easy running rhythm Siy has. He makes it look so easy so I'm trying to mimic his stride but man, my labored breathing is just downright embarrassing. You could probably hear me three kays away. I wonder what Siy thinks when I'm carrying on like this. Note - he's 20 years younger than us. Not an excuse. I signed up for this. I will do this.

Today reminded me of the good days with autism. The days when my child is the sweetest little girl on the planet - no tantrumming, no perseveration, no crying, no demanding, very little stimming, eating everything I put in fron of her, brushing her teeth beautifully and just being mummy's angel. These are the days when autism wasn't even thought about. The days when life is just great.

Autism is always there and I have to deal with it, but hey, it's not always bad, not at all. If you constantly look for the downfalls of autism, you'll constantly fall down and stay down. If you constantly look for the positive side, you'll constantly be positive. Autism teaches me about myself everyday and for that I'm grateful. The strength that I have found within myself to deal with my child's autism is the strength that's going to get me through that half marathon. This strength will get me through those darn hills.

I finished the run. I got through it, albeit with some struggle, but we ended on success. Days like today are the ones that have kept me going and will keep me going. They exist. They are there for the having no matter what I'm doing.

The only easy day was yesterday.

I ran my hour and a half on Sunday as Siyabonga instructed me too. He's the expert and I have t listen to him if I want to progress in my training schedule.

At 6.15am I let the dogs out. I've been up since 5 am - before the birds started twittering and I'm feeling great! So I let the dogs out and my daughter's toy poodle, Oscar, takes a tumble down the retraining blocks in the garden. It seems as if he misjugded his footing and fell. I heard yelps and a thud and then he got up and ran to take care of his business. When I called him into the house afterwards, he had this weird look on his face like he was going to attack me and his nose was a bit bloody. Was he blaming me? He was also running sideways as if he'd hurt his pelvis. "Oh great," I think, "this would happen on the day of my next training session with Siyabonga. Anwya, Oscar being the roughneck tough poodle he is, rallies and he's fine by the time I leave for our run with Siy.

I warmed up for about 20 minutes - 10 mins running and 10 mins stretching - and by the time we meet with Siy I'm feeling good. I tell Siyabonga this and we start off running around the 'hood. Now Siy has been training me for 3 mins and walking for 1 min up to now, but today he decides to run me for 5 mins at a good clip before my rest, but doesn't tell me beforehand and I'm a bit miffed because I know something is up because I'm already cursing and hoping for my break. Me and my big mouth. The whole time I'm running with Siy and Paul I'm worried about my doggie.

About 10 mins into the run, my left calf muscle starts spasming. S**t, man, this is on level ground with nary a hill in sight and now this. So Siy shows me how to stretch on the run and we do this for about 4 minutes. No such luck - the calf muscle is being stubborn and so am I. I don't say anything to Siy and Paul and we move on.

My calf is hurting like hell, but I'm not going to wimp out and turn around while we're still in sight of the gym. No siree, I'm going to tough it out and finish the 7.5 kays. All the while I'm running I'm saying "there is no pain, there is no pain" but my calf is saying something else, if it could talk, it would be really swearing at me. I know if told Siy and Paul about it, they would've baby-ed me and taken me back to the gym. But I'm a tough chick and I want no pampering. So I soldier on. I finish the 7.5 kays and Siy stretches us at the gym and we get home. Oscar is fine, by the way.

Now my calf feels like there's a lead weight attached to it. I'm limping around the house as if I have a wooden leg. I'm icing it and Voltaren-ing it like mad. Elevating and the whole R-I-C-E treatment (rest, ice, elevation, compression) because I want to do my training run on Friday. I have from Wed pm to Frid am to get this sucker fixed.

Today I figured out that I'm either stubborn or stupid, probably both for running with a muscle spasm. But what the heck, at least I can train for this half marathon right - pain and all. There have been days I was in the throes of autism with my daughter - sleepless nights, tantrums, throwing things, peeing on the carpet, meltdowns in public, head butting me, perserveration until I went deaf - all within a morning, that I didn't even have time to think!!! So what's a little calf pain to get to my goal? I've confronted and accepted autism, stepped up to the plate, sucked it in, and took it on. I can do this half marathon. I will do it.

Autism never gives us a break no matter how crappy we feel. Autims doesn not listen to any excuses about how bad you feel today. Your child is infront of you needing you and you get to it, so there are no excuses for me not training and I soldier on.

The only easy day was yesterday.

12/14/08 - So the glutes still hurt like hell!!! Where did these muscles come from? I meet Siy at the gym at 9am with my husband, Paul, and my German Shepherd Trinity. I figured we'd get in the family run with the dog. She's a great companion and always up for any activity. So we start running and everyone but me is cruising along.

Trin is hardly breaking sweat and Paul and Siy are having a great discussion about I don't know what as if they're sitting at a table. Me, I feel like my bodie's really turned into a sack of potatoes trying to run. Glutes shrieking, chest heaving, I just can't find my rhythym. So I finally break down and tell Siy that I feel really heavy today - that's putting it nicely. I really felt like something Trin would drop at the side of the road - you know what I mean.

And then Siy starts taking it easy on me and then I start feeling like I can really run but I'm scared to tell him in case he starts pushing me again and I feel like another of Trin's droppings. But he's such a great guy and just the best coach I could hope for so I don't want to come across as a whiny over 40 female. So I just soldier on but hey man, this run seems easy. So I just decide to enjoy it anyway and end on success.

Siy hasn't broken one bead of sweat. Paul neither, and Trin's tongue isn't even hanging out - she's ready to chase afer birds after about a 7.5 kay run. Me, I'm dead. I still feel like a sack of potatoes and the glutes feel even heavier. Siy stretches with me at the end and tells me to run for 90 minutes on Sunday. Sure guy - whatever you say.

The only easy day was yesterday

Jazel