November 21, 2008.

The weather is just how I like it - hot and getting hotter. My calf muscle feels much better. No more limping around the house, but there's still an area of stiffness - no pain, though.

Paul, myself and Siyabonga start running and he runs us for 10 mins at a good clip and rests (walks) for about 1 or 2 mins, and then we tackle the first hill. "Not too bad", I think. I'm still huffing and puffing horribly. It's an improvement over the last few times and it's encouraging. I'm feeling a bit stronger. I'll take it.

We're running hills this morning as I really need to work on this. So we run some gradual hills and then about 35 mins into the run we get to Avenue Bordeaux. This is a monster hill - okay - maybe not monster monster, but I consider my driveway steep so Ave Bordeaux looks tough.

We set out and Siy is just cruising along with me - I'm fast walking this sucker - not even attempting to run it, but I don't quit. Paul's already waiting at the top of the hill for us. Siy is such a great coach and so encouraging. I just adore his quiet strength.

On the downhill my calf starts its swearing at me. Siyabonga tells me I need to strenghthen my calves. Even though I'm very flexible because of my yoga training, my strength is not there for the run. That's probably why I'm still huffing and puffing and still feeling like a sack of potatoes for most of the run. I want to get into that easy running rhythm Siy has. He makes it look so easy so I'm trying to mimic his stride but man, my labored breathing is just downright embarrassing. You could probably hear me three kays away. I wonder what Siy thinks when I'm carrying on like this. Note - he's 20 years younger than us. Not an excuse. I signed up for this. I will do this.

Today reminded me of the good days with autism. The days when my child is the sweetest little girl on the planet - no tantrumming, no perseveration, no crying, no demanding, very little stimming, eating everything I put in fron of her, brushing her teeth beautifully and just being mummy's angel. These are the days when autism wasn't even thought about. The days when life is just great.

Autism is always there and I have to deal with it, but hey, it's not always bad, not at all. If you constantly look for the downfalls of autism, you'll constantly fall down and stay down. If you constantly look for the positive side, you'll constantly be positive. Autism teaches me about myself everyday and for that I'm grateful. The strength that I have found within myself to deal with my child's autism is the strength that's going to get me through that half marathon. This strength will get me through those darn hills.

I finished the run. I got through it, albeit with some struggle, but we ended on success. Days like today are the ones that have kept me going and will keep me going. They exist. They are there for the having no matter what I'm doing.

The only easy day was yesterday.